cancer anxiety

How to Reduce Anticipatory Anxiety During Cancer Treatment

cancer anxietyFacing the unknown of cancer treatment, it is only natural to experience fear and anxiety. Our mind, in an attempt to make sense of what’s ahead, can come up with all kinds of worst-case scenarios, which deplete and depress us. It is therefore vital that we cultivate resilience and strengthen our support system so we can effectively avoid the pitfall of anticipatory anxiety.

Anticipatory anxiety is where a person experiences increased levels of anxiety by thinking about an event or situation in the future.

Interestingly enough in a research study, highly anxious chemotherapy patients suffered twice as much “anticipatory nausea” (18.1%) than the mildly anxious patients did (9.8%).1 Our brains have a tendency to run non-stop like a hamster in a wheel or a chattering monkey. Fortunately there are patterns and behaviors you can learn to combat these negative thoughts and feelings.

Distorted thinking can perpetuate the fear of cancer treatments. Following are a few examples of how thinking can become distorted. See if you can relate to any of these:

  • All-or-nothing thinking: Seeing things in the extreme. You may think, “If I even start to feel nauseous I’m stopping all treatment.”
  • Overgeneralization: One negative occurrence gets applied it to everything in life. “Why does this always happen to me?” When in reality it hasn’t happened but a few times.
  • Disqualifying the positive: Rejecting positive experiences by insisting that they’re flukes. The opposite of over generalization. “That almost never happens!”

Change Your Thinking

We are, in part, products of our environment. This means that some of our thought processes are learned. Therefore when these thoughts are not benefiting us we can learn new ways to cope. Here are a few that will help with anticipatory anxiety:

  • Behavior therapy attempts to identify and eventually change unhealthy behaviors. Our behaviors are learned. They are reactions to what happens to us. It’s possible to “unlearn” these behaviors to possess better coping skills.
  • Biofeedback can teach you to you use the power of your thoughts to control your body. You’re connected to electrical sensors that give you information about your body so by making subtle changes, such as relaxing certain muscles, you can achieve the desired results such as reduced pain, less nausea, and/or dizziness.
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, helps people become aware of their negative interpretations. Many times people may not even realize they interpret situations in a negative way. CBT can help people develop more positive ways of thinking, which can reduce psychological distress.
  • Hypnosis, when used as an adjunct therapy to medical treatment, can help in numerous ways. It can help improve patients attitude toward treatment, improve their outlook and even improve their immune response by addressing past life events and trauma shown by the scientific study of Psychoneuroimmunology to suppress the immune system. It can further help resolve and modify destructive behaviors such smoking cessation, curb food intake of sugar and overall improve treatment outcome by addressing treatment side effects so that patients can complete their treatment regiment.
  • Progressive muscle relaxation focuses on slowly tensing and then relaxing each muscle group. This action helps the patient focus on the difference between muscle tension and relaxation. One method is to start with the muscles in your toes and tense then relax them. Do this throughout your entire body all the up to your head. You can also start with your head and neck and work down to your toes. Imagine that when you relax the muscle, all that tension flows out of your body. When you are fearful this gives you something else to focus on and helps you feel the stress in your muscles and then let it go.

Behaviors can change over time with practice. This is not a quick fix but will give you the tools you need to cope with anticipatory anxiety and other challenges you face in life. If you have questions on these treatments, how they are performed, and how they can help you, please contact me right now by email free@avinoamlerner.com or phone 617.564.0707.

1 http://www.drlarrylachman.com/people/the-psychology-of-chemotherapy.php

cancer health

Proven Strategies to Lessen Cancer Treatment Side Effects

Your medical regimen  and often time the side effects that follow will impact your quality of life. Some days are better than cancer healthothers but it’s worth being prepared and incorporate habits and activities that can support and increase your comfort and vitality. The age old wisdom that is outlined below is simple, yet effective. It states that we should be cognizant of everything we put into our body – including our thoughts.

Be Aware of What You Eat

When it comes to food the best thing to do is to prepare it ahead of time. Stock up on organic, healthy foods. You and your family can prepare and refrigerate or freeze healthy meals before you begin therapy. This way you’ll have a lot less work to do when you’re not feeling so great. Ensure the meals are nutrient-dense, and organic (whenever possible) to aid your body in its recovery. Choose a variety of fresh and colorful foods such as:

  • Fruits, vegetables, and legumes
  • Whole grains (Quinoa is a good one. It’s high in protein, gluten-free, easy to prepare and to digest.)
  • Low fat lean proteins: Greek yogurt 2% or 0%, eggs, seafood, lean meat, edamame (soybeans in the pod) and unsalted nuts and seeds.

Some foods to avoid or eat less of are:

  • Sodium (salt)
  • Added sugar
  • Simple sugars (white bread, white rice, candy)
  • Solid fat
  • Alcohol

Eat More Frequently

Good news. You can eat smaller, more frequent meals when you’re experiencing side effects. Try five small meals per day rather than three and see if it helps with any digestive issues. Eating this way can also give you sustained energy throughout your day.

Water, Water, Everywhere

Drink water or other liquids frequently. If you don’t like water, you can get your liquids through soup broths (low sodium, of course), fruit and green smoothies, flavored teas, and more. It’s important to drink a lot of water so you stay hydrated and flush unwanted substances from the body.

Mind Body Connection

Besides eating fresh, healthy, and organic foods, there are some really fun activities to try, whether you’ve attempted them in the past or not. All of these can help keep your mind on the positive healing track. Of course as with any treatment, be sure to verify with your doctor that you are cleared to take part in these treatments.

Exercise

Exercise is beneficial for everyone, but even more so for a patient receiving treatment. Cancer related fatigue is often the most troubling side effect of treatment according to patients. That’s right, even more than nausea, vomiting, pain, or sleep problems, because it affects the ability to perform every day tasks. By getting regular exercise, a patient can sleep better and feel less pain, anxiety, and depression. 1

But what kind of exercise am I talking about? No 5k’s or triathlons, but walking, biking, yoga, tai chi, and water aerobics. Those activities are varied enough that you should not get bored. Each type of exercise can be performed by novices or experts, and each one goes fairly easy on the body yet provides incredible calming and healing benefits.

Additional Alternatives 2

Other important treatments that can provide relief and healing are:

Hypnosis – to work on changing the subconscious so it can work with the body to bring about healing (I think you guessed I’d mention that!)

Massage – yes, please.

Meditation – can help quiet the mind.

Relaxation techniques – uses breath and visualization to calm body and mind

Acupuncture – reduces nausea, vomiting, pain and improves digestion

Aromatherapy – fights anxiety, depression, and high blood pressure 3

Music therapy – benefits patients of all ages and musical abilities. You don’t have to be Mozart or Chopin to reap the benefits. Music therapy promotes wellness, manages stress, reduces pain, and promotes physical rehabilitation. 4

Add these exercises and treatments into your overall healing arsenal to assist you in regaining better health and wellbeing. If you have questions on these treatments, how they are performed, and what they can do for you, please feel free to contact me right now.

1) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3647480/

2) http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/cancer/in-depth/cancer-treatment/art-20047246?pg=1

3) http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/comp_med/types/aromatherapy

4) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3863265/

cancer diagnosis shock

Overcoming the Shock of Cancer Diagnosis

According to the Washington Post, every day in the United States approximately 4,600 people are diagnosed with some form of cancer. 1 The most common initial reaction to those three dreaded words “you have cancer” is shock, fear and disbelief, which are followed by an intuitive sense that life as we’ve known them are forever changed. If you have “been there” yourself or know someone who has been impacted by cancer you know there’s some truth to it. You also know that today, more then any other time in history we have the means and tools to help patients survive and thrive.

Feelings Upon Diagnosis

Once diagnosed, most patients describe feeling disoriented. The pace of change and the life threatening nature of this illness often bring about anger, anxiety, fear, and depression, which take time to process. It’s hard to admit that despite of so many medical and technological advancements, and the fact that more and more patients do survive treatment, Cancer is still associated with a death sentence.

I’m not going to pretend things are perfect in any way, I do however want you to know even during this trying times you can learn how to cope with and successfully overcome all of these experiences. You can journey from feeling like a victim, to feeling and being a victor.

Taking Control

One successful strategy to taking control is to keep your gaze on the big picture. Yes, there is another tomorrow and the sun will rise again. This will help you place the information disseminated by your Medical team in the right context. Everything may sound very urgent, and it may very well be, but you have a voice and it’s the most important one. If you feel rushed, slow things down.

You may feel like your body has betrayed you and therefore you cannot trust yourself anymore, but you are so much more then just your body, you are a whole person with a rich life experience to draw from. As you learn about treatment options, conventional and alternative, and start to put together a treatment plan that is right for you it will be easier to adjust since you know what your next steps are. 2

In most cases, progression of illness is slow which means you have time. You have time to address not only your body but also yourself, the person within this body. Doing so will help you feel acknowledged, witnessed, heard and more in control.

If you read any of my previous blog posts you know that I view illness through a multidimensional lens. My belief is that illness must be addressed not only on the level of the body or physical symptoms but also on the level of the mind.

Imagine a boxer that eats well, lifts weights to gain muscle, and performs cardio to increase endurance. But leading up to the fight he keeps thinking there’s no way he can win. On the day of the fight he is unable to focus on the end result he wants to achieve, he gets hit and will likely lose because he has not realized this match requires mental and emotional endurance as much as physical one. Remember this quote from Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.

Mental & Spiritual Wellness

The one takeaway I want you to remember today is that while your medical team is doing everything in their power to mend your body, it is up to you to tend to and mend your mind. Talk to your medical team about integrating complementary medicine into your cancer care, especially hypnotherapy. Why hypnotherapy? Well, hypnotherapy engages the part of your mind called the Subconscious Mind. This part of your mind harbors your beliefs and perceptions (responsible for stress, fear, helplessness). It’s also the part of your mind that governs many of your bodily functions like immune function for example.

Working in the realm of the Subconscious Mind to change the quality of your perceptions (of treatment/procedures) from negative and harmful to positive and supporting can have a transformative effect on your experience. Any medical provider will agree that getting into treatment in the right frame of mind can improve outcome. Furthermore, resolving the mental patterns inhibiting immune functions can allow your immune system to be restored to its full capacity thus make your body more resilient.

Final analogy

I will leave you with this final analogy for the need to treat illness on all of its dimensions:

Think of a person as a musical instrument. Say for example, someone hands you a beautiful guitar made of exquisite wood polished to a warm glow. You start to strum it, but it sounds horrible! So you use a pitch pipe to tune each and every string in order to get the best sound. You take the extra effort to get each string tuned to the correct note and once you start to play again the guitar produces the melodic sound you want. Now it is harmonious and balanced. Translate that into recovery and healing and it becomes clear these goals they can only be achieved when we address every single dimension. Then you can feel like you are in charge of your own destiny and can begin the journey toward a positive outcome.

If you have questions on where to go next or what hypnosis can do for your recovery, please contact me today. I’m happy to help.

1) https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2016/01/07/how-cancer-will-affect-americans-in-2016-in-xx-charts/

2) http://www.curetoday.com/publications/cure/2014/cancer-guide2014/at-diagnosis-dealing-with-emotions

cancer wellness

The Wellness Blueprint

cancer wellnessWith the onset of illness, emphasis is often placed on treating the physical and biological. This makes perfect sense because that’s where the crisis is most visible; however, there is an inner crisis, an invisible one, that is worthy of attention as well. This inner crisis, I understand from my clients is the most scarring one.

So, what can you do to address this inner crisis while your medical team does everything in their power to heal your body? How can you reach that place inside of you that scalpel can not possibly cut deep enough to reach, nor can any amount of chemotherapy or radiation penetrate in order to promote true health and lasting healing?

While there is more than one way to scale this mountain, I wish to highlight the road less traveled as the road that leads you to the inner realm of your mind.

It’s Not Therapy

There are only a few medical facilities within our great nation that as a standard of care give attention to the individual patient’s emotional and mental state throughout their course of therapy. While this represents a step in the right direction, this type of therapy engages (primarily) the part of our mind called the Conscious mind, and therefore, can not, by design, penetrate the realm of the Subconscious mind where the fortress of the authentic-self resides. The end result is that patients continue to feel unchanged or untouched from within; therefore fear, worry and self-blame continues to plague them long after treatment has ended.

The road to wellness this post highlights does not cross paths with the Law of Attraction or any other associated metaphysical system. The success of these methods is so hard to measure that it often backfires. Without the ability to measure our progress, we risk feeling even more helpless, inadequate, punished, and less worthy of healing.

So, how do we reach this inner realm of the mind? The answer is so simple you might miss it. We utilize our mind’s ability to “see” in a constructive way, then burn this “vision” into every nerve and fiber in our body. We use our creative ability to form detailed mental images in our mind’s eye and through practice and disciplined repetition plant these images like we would a seed in the fertile ground of our mind, more accurately, the all-powerful part of our mind called the Subconscious mind.

This becomes our road map or blueprint for wellness.

The All Powerful Mind

Before we delve into the “how”, let’s first examine the “why”.

Why is the Subconscious Mind so important for healing and health?

The first thing to know is that our mind is not our brain. The terms “mind” and “brain” are often used interchangeably; however, they each carry different connotations. The “brain” is the tangible and physical organ within the skull. The “mind” is the intangible, or non-physical, part of our being. It encompasses qualities such as “thought,” “creativity,” and “emotion.” Medicine treats the mind and the brain as two sides of the same coin. More contemporary schools see the mind and the brain as architect and contractor. The mind creates the plans, and the brain uses those plans to coordinate mental and physical activity.

The mind itself has two distinct components: the Conscious mind and the Subconscious mind. The Subconscious mind is sometimes called the Unconscious mind in traditional practices. Sigmund Freud compared the whole mind to an iceberg, with the conscious and analytical mind representing the part of the iceberg above the water. The vast part of the mind, the Subconscious mind, however, exists beneath the surface. The Subconscious mind is beyond the reach of conscious thought.

The Subconscious mind is our emotional center, the storehouse of our memories, perceptions, and beliefs. As a result, it is able to exert great influence over our experiences. More importantly, it can exert great influence over one’s cancer recovery. The Subconscious mind is the part of our mind that regulates many of our bodily functions, including immune function. This means that if we perceive ourselves as not worthy of recovery, and if we believe we do not have the inner resources to cope and recover, we will have a harder time truly healing.

The Subconscious mind is important for health and healing because it has the power to turn the invisible into visible. It governs many of our bodily functions. Thus, it has the ability to either inhibit or enhance immune function, diminish or increase our resiliency, and foster or impede our ability to fight and recover from cancer.

Weaving New Thoughts

So, by what means or mechanism, can we harness this amazing ability of our mind to influence the body? Well, if you are like any of my clients, you have utilized this mechanism many times before. I know that for sure because the most common use of this mechanism is worry! Yes, worry. When we worry we utilize this creative ability to explore possible future outcomes. Thankfully, each time we begin to form a new action plan for our mind to follow, we do not stick with these plans for too long. This is why these worry-thoughts and images do not materialize. This, however, does not mean the mechanism isn’t effective, it certainly is.

So, let’s try this, instead of sending worry-thoughts through this mental machine of yours, take a moment (10 to 15 seconds at the most) to see yourself in your mind’s eye already healthy, recovered, well and happy. Place the emphasis on seeing your desired outcome of health and healing.

There is NO way you can do this wrong or fail. If 15 seconds of visualization is too long of a time, make it 5 seconds. If visualization does not come easy to you, write things down on a piece of paper. Write something like “in ___ months from now I will feel…”. Describe in as many details as you can how you want to feel both physically and emotionally. Once you have that down, write it again and again in PRESENT TENSE as if it already happened.

Now, please note that simply holding the image of your desired outcome in your mind once or twice is NOT going to help you at all. In fact, minuscule practice may backfire and serve as a “proof” of failure, suggesting you are not worthy of healing and recovery. You need to work on it and rehearse your image and outcome again and again in much the same way athletes rehearse for their performance. Run this image few times a day until it feels just right. Burn it into your memory and nerves because only then will your Subconscious mind accept it and act upon it.

When it feels effortless, spend more time rehearsing, add more details, and make use of all of your senses. Immerse yourself in this new reality of yours until you own it. For example, how strong and agile will you feel in your body three month from now? What it would feel like to be back where you want to be? Doing all the things you want to do?

Do it Your Way

Finally, there are many protocols or names on the internet for harnessing the power of your mind for improvement. Most, however, do not work to affect change directly within the Subconscious Mind.

Self-Hypnosis is one protocol which is easy to learn and apply, especially when you are physically less active or bedridden. Want to learn more about Self-Hypnosis? Need help applying this method? Send us a note and we’ll be happy to share with you a short guide for home practice of self-hypnosis.

For further information call 617-564-0707 or write me at Free@AvinoamLerner.com

cancer mind healing recovery

What is the Sound Of Your Mind?

cancer mind healing recoveryA state of health is often associated with a state of inner balance or harmony where all the different systems that make up who we are (physical and nonphysical) are working properly, in perfect synergy. As such, illness is associated with lack of balance and a state of disharmony.

This is truth. However, this idea can be somewhat misleading. It can even backfire if misunderstood.

Recently, a client told me, “Life is never just black and white. Therefore, my illness cannot be solely caused by a lack of inner balance, or the state of inner disharmony.”

Her words were in response to a chapter in my book called, The New Cancer Paradigm. In the book, I compared the brain to an orchestra and beliefs, perceptions, emotions, and attitudes to musical instruments in that orchestra. I invited the reader to imagine each instrument had its own sound and vibration. I then asked the following question, “If you could listen to the soundtrack of your mind—all of those beliefs, emotions, perceptions, and attitudes—what would it sound like? Would your orchestra sound harmonious or discordant?”

Guilty as Charged

Let’s start from the beginning, and set the record straight. My client was right.

In an attempt to explain the relationship between what goes on in our mind and our physical experiences, I have oversimplified the concept. I’ve implied there’s simple causation between the realm of the mind and the realm of the body. My client was right because there’s nothing simple about this intimate relationship. There’s more to illness than a state of inner disharmony, and there’s more to health than positive beliefs and mental attitudes.

However, it is important for us to acknowledge what is going on in our minds. We must take responsibility for our state of mind. Oversimplified or not, our mindset does intervene with and influence the body’s internal environment.

If physical symptoms are indeed the tangible evidence of what’s really going on in our mind, and I believe they are, then when illness is present, our inner orchestra cannot be in harmony. Harmful beliefs, erroneous perceptions, unresolved emotional turmoil, and trauma generate discordant vibrations which flow through our body. This disrupts and inhibits the function of several biological symptoms, weakening the body’s ability to defend itself. Thus, we become ill. Now, and this is important, even though we’re not aware of what we’re doing, we unintentionally “think” ourselves into a state of illness.

There are many factors that influence our biology and our state of health. Our Mind is just one factor. However, it is a very important factor, because for the most part we can exercise control over our Minds. We can choose where we focus our attention. We can change the way we think and what we believe.

This is good news. It opens up a powerful possibility. If we can “think” our way into illness, it should be possible to “think” ourselves back into health.

The power to change how we think and what we believe.

When I assert these things I do not suggest self-blame in any way. If that thought crossed your mind please know it is utterly inaccurate. Even more so, it is unfair and unkind to blame yourself for something you were not aware of.

The way we think and what we now believe are not our fault. As kids, we had little or no control over what to believe or think when we were young. However, if we do nothing to change how we think and what we believe now and today, then we are the only one at fault.

The idea is not to serve up blame. The idea is to convey we have the power to change how we think and what we believe, and, by so doing, can reverse the undesired effect the Mind has done to the body.

During our formative years, our minds functioned as receivers. Everything we perceived through our five senses and learned from the people around us helped shape an understanding of who we are, and how we fit into the world.

But now we are adults. Adults experiencing a health crisis. And as such, we have an opportunity to revisit and examine the validity and accuracy of these original ideas, these “truths.” We can redefine them, or come to new decisions about what they really meant.

“The way to health is founded on the law of vibration, which is the basis of all science, and this law is brought into operation by the Mind, the ‘world within’. It is a matter of individual effort and practice. Our world of power is within. If we are wise, we shall not waste time and effort in trying to deal with effects as we find them in the ‘world without’, which is only external, a reflection.” (Charles F. Hannel).

So why am I telling you all this?

It’s simple. I want you to know there is a great deal you can do to facilitate your healing. True, you never wished to be here, or to go through this thing called Cancer. But if healing and recovery are your priorities now, reach out and find the time to tune this symphony within.

There are not many guarantees in life but you are guaranteed to have both your mind and your body for the whole duration of your life. How much of your time and energy is dedicated to care for those each day?

Want to do more but not sure where to start? Send me a message. I’ll eagerly point you toward your next best step forward. I’m ready for your questions…send them on!

The Appleseed Project 2016

The Annie Appleseed Project

If you are interested in learning about Complementary Medicine for Cancer, there is no better place for you to do so then The Annie Appleseed Project website.

The Appleseed Project 2016

Ann Fonfa and Avinoam Lerner at The Appleseed Project 10th Evidence-Based Conference for Complementary Medicine for Cancer

The Annie Appleseed Project was founded in 1997 by Ann Fonfa, a breast cancer survivor herself. The purpose of the project was and still is to inform, educate, advocate and raise awareness around (Complementary Alternative Medicine) CAM for cancer. Through its annual conference on Evidence-based Complementary & Alternative Cancer Therapies the project offers patients, caregivers and medical providers the opportunity to join, share and learn from one another.

My acquaintance with Ann started back in 2011 when I was invited to place an article in the Conference magazine. This year (2016) I was fortunate enough to be one of the presenters and share with the audience some of my case studies on hypnosis for cancer recovery.

Below, you can find the presentation in a PDF format. Since the conference was videotaped, I will post the video as soon as they’re done with the editing and I have the final version.

It was a real treat to be a part of the Appleseed community this year. I met some very courageous people and can only hope I have inspired few to take action and learn how to mobilize their mind and inner resources to promote wellness and advance recovery.

If you have any question with regard to the presentation below, please feel free to contact me.

Annie Appleseed Conference Presentation:

online cancer worksho

Online Support and Classes for Cancer Patients

In a group discussion held at the end of my recent “Advancing Cancer Recovery” workshop, one topic in particular was on participants mind. It was the sense of isolation many cancer patients feel and the need for more effective ways to break that invisible barrier.

cancer self help classes onlineI found this notion intriguing because, especially in the Boston area, there is no shortage of support groups or communities that cater to cancer care.

It became clear that participants wished to connect with and engage with others like-minded people, who also happened to be with Cancer, outside the hospital environment. Furthermore they wanted more freedom to be who they were before they were diagnoses, and showcase their before-cancer identity/personality.

The discussion, in its creative way, eventually led to an interesting idea. Why not use the tools we already have and use, such as the internet, to form a community, an online community, a community that offer support and education to anyone in need.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and with the help of few participants, I was able to package this wonderful idea into a series of online gatherings. Using current video-chats platforms such as Google-Hangout and Skype, which I already utilize in my own practice, we can meet on a regular basis, and more importantly, we can do so without ever leaving the house.

Now, if you live in a warm weather state, this may not sound like a big deal for you. But if you lived through the last winter in Boston where we had a new snow fall record, believe me, this is a very big deal.

So why am I writing all of this? Well, it’s my kind of shameless and tactless promotion of course J

Humor aside however, I wanted to put this information out there so it can be found and shared with those who can benefit it the most. If you or someone you know is facing cancer and wish to feel and be more proactive, then this kind of engagement may be for you. If you wish to learn tools and skills for self-care and quality of life then this Cancer Self-Help Class is for you. It is especially valuable for those who live far away or are challenged with limited mobility.

So here is a short list of upcoming Cancer Self-Help classes we will hold:

Cancer Class #1. Calm Your Mind, Calm Your Body: Overcoming the shock of cancer diagnosis.

Cancer Class #2. Improving the Odds for Recovery: Coping skills for effective treatment.

Cancer Class #3. Overcoming the Fear of Reoccurrence.

Cancer Class #4. Mobilizing the Mind for Successful Surgery.

Cancer Class #5. Mobilizing the Mind for Successful Chemotherapy.

Cancer Class #6. Mobilizing the Mind   for Immune Enhancement.

Cancer Class #7. Mobilizing the Mind for Successful Radiation.

Cancer Class #8. Overcoming Insomnia

Cancer Class #9. Healing Imagery for a Healthy Body Image

This is just a sample of the classes I will offer this coming weeks and months. If you feel you or someone else might benefit from joining us, please feel free to contact me at Free@AvinoamLerner.com.

Beyond this series of classes I will convert one of my more popular services i.e. the EFT for Cancer one-on-one sessions into an EFT for Cancer Study Group. If you wish to learn more about EFT and how this wonderful tool can support your wellness click here.

As always, I am interested in what you have to say. If there is a service or course you feel will be helpful to others, please let me know.

With joy,
Avinoam Lerner

joni aldrich and avinoam lerner

Facing the Holidays with a Heavy Heart

With the holiday season upon us, I wanted to share with you the empowering message of Jodi Aldrich. Joni is a devoted advocate, author, speaker and radio supporting both patients and their loved ones. Her words are printed here with her permission.

Five Ways to Show You Care During a Darker Christmas Season

The holidays are meant to be filled with light, laughter, and good cheer. But when a friend or loved one is seriously or terminally ill, those things might seem to be in short supply. Here’s how you can prepare to face this season with purpose and compassion.

By Joni Aldrich

joni aldrich and avinoam lerner

Joni Aldrich

Take a look at any storefront window or television special: the holidays are meant to be a joyous occasion filled with frivolity and good cheer. It’s a time to believe in miracles, to return to our core beliefs and values, and to spend quality time with family and friends—all while eating plenty of sweets with no heed to calories! But what happens if there is no “merry” in Christmas? How do you face “the most wonderful time of the year” when someone you love is either seriously or terminally ill? It’s a question that many of us are facing as we watch our neighbors’ tree lights twinkle and listen to happy holiday tunes playing on the radio. The fact is, you might not feel like participating in these holiday rituals yourself when seasonal celebration collides with personal trauma.

When the harshness of reality assaults your everyday existence, there are bigger concerns than how to decorate your tree or which wrapping paper to buy. The thing is—unless you move to a cave!—the holiday season will impact your life, whether you want it to or not. But if you step back and think about the true reasons for the season—mercy, caring, and humanity—the holidays that seem so difficult can also hold invaluable gifts.

I speak from experience. In 2006, my husband Gordon lost his two-year battle with cancer. My book, The Saving of Gordon: Lifelines to W-I-N Against Cancer (Cancer Lifeline Publications, 2009, ISBN: 978-1-4392550-3-2, $19.95), tells the story of my family’s experiences while simultaneously offering valuable step-by-step advice that will give readers the tools they need to have a fighting chance against cancer. The memories

of the last Christmas my husband and I spent together are both precious and painful.

I’ll be honest: some of those gifts that come from the holiday season will be painful, but they can also develop into lasting memories of love and faith. Through my own bittersweet experiences, I learned a valuable lesson: that the joy of Christmas truly is

what you make it within your heart and soul. No, it won’t always be easy. It’s unrealistic to believe that every holiday season will be enjoyed without pain. Yet, time and space will allow these difficult remembrances to be tempered with a silver lining.

As this special season approaches, you or someone you know may be going through a dark holiday. If you lend your support to help your loved one through these difficult times—even though it may be hard—you will give and receive special blessings to cherish. Read on for guidelines that you may find helpful when visiting an ill patient during the holidays:

Five Ways to Show You Care

Don’t wait for the “right time”—just go. The fact is, there will never be a “convenient” time to visit a family member or friend who is battling a serious illness. Even good days are filled with difficulties and discomfort. Furthermore, you might not feel the same level of ease that you once did. Ultimately, though, you will both be thankful that you spent time together.

Visiting an ill loved one is going to be hard. Know that, and choose to move forward anyway. When you do visit, consider the needs of the patient and his or her family. Call in advance, and take your cues from the family regarding the duration of your visit. Consider the well-being of the patient, and err on the side of caution when choosing to visit. If you are under the weather yourself—even if it’s just a sniffle or a cough—consider a phone conversation instead, or wear a mask. Also, avoid wearing strong perfumes or colognes.

Visit the patient and the caregivers. Remember, your loved one is not the only one whose daily life has been affected by his or her illness. The routines and priorities of family and/or caregivers have changed drastically as well. Follow their leads when interacting with the patient, and make sure to focus your attention on them as well.

Whatever you do, don’t avoid the family because you are uncertain of how to approach them in a difficult situation. Call often, bring food, and offer prayers. These “gifts” will be appreciated by the patient and by his or her family. It is very painful when the family expects that support, and ultimately doesn’t receive it.

Avoid preconceived expectations. Imagine this: you’ve scheduled a visit with an ill friend, and you have grand plans for watching a favorite holiday movie and chuckling over the characters’ foibles. After all, it will do your friend good to think about

something else, right? Perhaps so, but it turns out that your friend more urgently wants to talk about her memories, fears, and uncertainties. You’re thrown completely for a loop and don’t know how to respond.

Always gauge the patient’s mood as acutely as you can. It’s helpful if she is forthcoming about what would give her the most comfort, but she may not be able to express her

feelings and needs that easily. Make the visit about the patient, whether that means that you end up laughing, crying, reminiscing, or even leaving until a more convenient time.

Be sensitive to changes in the holiday routine. Chances are, you’re feeling less festive than in years past—and the same goes for the patient and his family. Remember that not only their enthusiasm but also their finances are likely to be impacted. Be prepared for the possibility that you might not receive a Christmas card or gift this year, and check with the family beforehand regarding gift exchanges and get-togethers.

If a holiday party does take place, take extra care not to go off into a corner to whisper with other friends and acquaintances. The last thing your ill loved one needs or wants is to feel like he is the cause of speculation or sadness. Similarly, there will be tears, so let them come. Sometimes the patient won’t want to see them, so you may have to steal some private time. Whatever you do, don’t shut yourself off completely from the patient or from your feelings.

Remember that the best gifts can’t be wrapped. It’s trite but true—the most valuable things in life aren’t things. Your care and support will mean more to an ill friend and her family than any amount of material presents. And when it does come time to break out the wrapping paper and bows, think about what might be truly needed. Blankets, shawls, a baby monitor, a sensible gift basket, or a heating pad and warm socks will be greatly appreciated, perhaps more so than traditional holiday trinkets. Keep in mind that flowers, including poinsettias, should be avoided due to their smell and the care that they require.

Don’t forget that a hug is one of the most powerful gifts that can be exchanged. A kind word is another. A sympathetic ear is often the best present you can offer, along with a strong shoulder to cry on. Make sure that your ill loved one and his or her family know that you are available to help at any time, whether that means a grocery store run, an extra pair of hands to help hang holiday decorations, a night out for the patient’s family, or going to get a prescription filled. Prayer is the most blessed gift of all—pray together, pray separately, and pray often.

Ultimately, you will be blessed because of the comfort and love you have given to a family who needs it. You will have experienced the true meaning of Christmas—giving a gift to others that is much more valuable than anything you could ever wrap in a box.

This holiday season, the precious time you spend with your ill loved one will offer hope and comfort, and it will supply precious memories that you will cherish for the rest of your life.

About The Author:

Author, Speaker, Radio Host, and Health Cause Advocate Joni Aldrich, is the CEO of Cancer Lifeline Publications. She has published six books on surviving cancer, caregiving, brain illness and grief. Joni is an international radio host on W4WN.com, W4CS.com, iHeart.com and UKHealthRadio.com, with programs including Cancer SOS and Advocacy Heals U. Joni advocates for cancer families, caregivers, and cancer legislation in honor of her husband and mother who were lost to cancer.

Joni’s New Book Now In Stores

Joni’s new book is titled ADVOCACY HEALS U: 15 KEYS TO FAST TRACK RESULTS AND EMOTIONAL FULFILLMENT.  Written by JONI ALDRICH with CHRISTOPHER JERRY.

“Our legacy does not end with the closing of the day or even with our final breath; it continues through infinite possibilities for hopeful tomorrows—one cause, one person at a time.” ~Joni Aldrich

Advocacy Heals U is the first book ever written on personal advocacy bringing it into a much-needed spotlight…FOR advocates and BY advocates Joni Aldrich and Chris Jerry, who have a combined twenty years of experience. They believe that, in this world of open borders, there has never been a better time to reach people around the world for a cause. In addition to sharing the crucial details from Chris and Joni’s own personal journeys, this book includes 95 other advocates and 58 foundations.