It takes courage to forgive someone, to “give up” that part of ourselves that wants to be right rather than happy. And once we came to the realization that we are the one benefiting from forgiveness, how do we go about it, what is the next step?
Some people pray, some exercise their logic and some numb themselves with drugs and medications. But if none of those worked for you, try the following exercise.
Learn How to Achieve Instant Forgiveness:
This an advanced technique involving visualization with eye positions which anyone can benefit from. To work with this technique simply bring to mind a person with whom you have a conflict or someone who’ve done you wrong.
Once you have that in mind, look at the sequence of events that lead you to feel hurt, angry and upset. You can view that sequence of events from beginning to end like a short movie that play’s in your mind’s eye.
Give that movie a title, for example, “The Night you Broke my Heart”. This will be helpful as we make progress.
It is likely that the first few times you’ll work with this technique, you’ll need to go slowly just to remember what need be done at each point. This is perfectly normal. To help you remember the exact eye positioning we will use abbreviations for each position.
The Abbreviations are:
• DR (eyes Down and to the Right)
• DC (eyes Down and to the Center)
• DL (eyes Down and left)
• UR (eyes Up and Right)
• UC (eyes Up and Center)
• UL (eyes Up and Left)
Now that you have a person in mind and memorized eye positions abbreviations we can begin.
1. Turn eyes down and to the right. (DR)
Play the movie (sequence of events) of the incident/s which include the person with whom you are angry, upset from beginning to end. As you play the movie in your mind’s eye, allow yourself to feel the same feelings you felt back then and the stress attached to them. This movie may include various situations from the past as well.
2. Eyes Down and Center. (DC)
Re-run the same movie from beginning to end, including the same feelings and experience of stress but without the other person in the movie.
3. Move your eyes Down and Left. (DL)
Re-run the very same movie you just ran, keeping the feelings of stress (without the other person) but this time speed it up. Run the movie twice as fast.
4. Move eyes Up and to the Right. (UR)
Say silently or out loud: “I now allow myself to forgive that other person. He/she is in my life to help me learn, grow and let go.”
5. Now move your eyes Up and to the Center. (UC)
Once again say to yourself or out loud: “I chose to forgive this other person for my own well-being. He/she was doing the best they know how.”
6. Move eyes up and to the left. (UL)
It is time to bring the other person to mind again and visualize yourself standing side-by-side with that other person.
7. Eyes up to Center position again. (UC)
Maintain the image of yourself standing side-by-side with that person. Imagine something between you, like an obstacle of some kind or a barrier. Visualize a radiant light, surrounding that obstacle or barrier.
Let the radiant light melt away what is there between you, and is not aligned with forgiveness, comfort and well-being. Feel that which feels light, warm and forgiving to snuggle in.
If you prefer, you can imagine a door opening inside your heart or chest. Feel the radiant healing light flow into your heart and with it, the image of that person who has caused you pain and hurt. Allow the healing light to surround them as well, knowing that they too need love.
Once you have the light in your heart, take a deep breath and let it flow throughout your body and end the exercise here.
Scan your body for more information, notice your feelings, discover what has changed and how?