One of my clients asked me a question the other day, a question regarding emotions which intrigued me because I didn’t have the answer. He asked if I could name all of the negative emotions we as human’s experience, and the truth is that I couldn’t. As it turns out there are eleven negative emotions and they are hurt, sadness, shame, hopelessness, fear, anger, hate, jealousy, pride, greed, and guilt.
Identifying these emotions was a fascinating process for me because it is not often that I get to dissect language in this particular way. Furthermore, some of these words do overlap and it was interesting to assess their precise meaning and use.
You might recall my view on emotions from previous posts; that all of our emotions are natural, valuable, necessary and meaningful. I stated that emotions can heal us as much as hurt us, and I pressed that any emotion, be it positive or negative can become toxic and negatively impact our health if bottled inside and not allowed to be felt, expressed and exhausted.
The question in that respect is not so much what need be done, but how can it be done? How can we safely express, exhaust or even allow ourselves to feel emotions which for a good part of our lives we tried suppressing and avoiding?
When it comes down to it, we must take ownership of what we think about and allow in our minds. You may have heard the saying “The only way out is in”? If so you already know that for real healing to occur we must face that which is hurtful, painful, shameful etc. and bring it into the light of our consciousness.
The most effective way to relief and resolve toxic emotions (in my opinion) is forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the balm you apply on the wound. You may find my definition of forgiveness different than yours, if so, remember that I only make suggestions here based on what works for me and for my clients. If your experience brought you to a different conclusion feel free to share it with me.
So what is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a choice, a decision, an action which you can take today toward happiness and health. Forgiveness is not forgetting, condoning or cutting someone some slack, it is not a form of silent acceptance of the inevitable or a way to please those around us. Forgiveness is a statement of self worth!
In forgiveness there is recognition of truth, and the truth is that no harm was ever done to us but that which we perceived as such.
There is more than one way to forgive someone and what works for one may not work for the other. Nevertheless, in my next post I will describe in great details how to practice forgiveness. It’s an exercise which anyone can benefit from and implement.
For the time being, let me whisper this to you: the ultimate forgiveness is forgiveness to ourselves, for perceiving, believing, behaving in a certain way and so on, this is the only kind of forgiveness that heals and lead to peace of mind.
If you share my view or oppose it, please share?