It is often challenging to forgive someone or something however when considering the many benefits forgiveness offer to our health and well being it is certainly worth the effort. There are many misconceptions with regard to forgiveness which upon closer examination will prove outdated or altogether wrong. Mainly, holding on to grudge and resentment we do all of the suffering. It’s like holding hot coals with the intent to throw them at someone else while suffering the burn ourselves. Discover why forgiveness is all about you and not about others and learn how to take back control of your life and livelihood.
The notion of a life threatening illness is debilitating. Tough we all have different personalities and coping mechanism, fear seems to color every aspect of our lives with gloom. Recently a client said she felt that her field of vision narrowed from wide and bright, to narrow and dark when she found out she had cancer. It’s felt like “walking in a corridor with different doors, each door lead to another piece of her life” she said.
This client is not alone. Her vivid description shed light on the common effects of fear and the need for a practical, realistic and effective way to deal with it.
She asked me to share her experience with the hope it will be of use to others as they come face to face with it and so I do.
F.E.A.R stands for False Evidence Appear Real.
See the big picture – Though many of us think of cancer as an incurable disease, this is not necessarily the case anymore. With the advancement of medicine, treatment and technology more and more people these days survive their cancer.
Remember the Truth of Statistics – Statistics are just numbers. I am not making light of medical data, but at the end of the day we are all unique. We have different DNA, different resilience levels and different belief systems and therefore cope with treatment differently. If we were all alike in every sense, there would be just one treatment or cure for cancer and it would work for everyone every time.
It may be tempting to see yourself as part of this study or that body of data but if you are doing so, you must consider all those who survived and lived much longer than expected or predicted. In light of this view, the fragile nature of this form of evaluation comes to light.
Search for the lesson – Being diagnosed with cancer does not mean you are helpless or hopeless. There are many things you can do take back control of your life, your body and your mind. From a holistic perspective a state of illness is a state where your body serves as a messenger from your inner self, that spiritual part of you that is at the core of your being. This part forever communicates with us and there is always a lesson to be learned. Figuring out what it is we need to hear or learn brings not only peace of mind and comfort but it also permits the body to utilize its healing potential. It dissolve the inhibiting factors which lessen the effectiveness of medicine or the body’s ability to embrace it.
It is worth noting that Immersive Healing which is the practice I could offer this client, may not be right for you. There are different ways to reach the top of the mountain and hypnosis for cancer is not the only one or the only effective one.
How do you cope your fearful moments? Can you give others some advice?
Every healing journey starts with the onset of bad news. Those few words “you have cancer” challenge even the most optimistic mind. It forces us to think of the unthinkable, our families and our lives in a way we did not expect. The nature of bad news is often aggressive, debilitating and many of my client’s described it as a “defining moment after which nothing stayed the same”.
Generally speaking, we fear cancer more than other ailments because of our perception of it. Our societal view of cancer is for the most part dire, like a death sentence. Most literature focuses on statistics of those who lost their battle with the disease, not with those who survived although more and more people do.
Are we expected to face these three life changing words with grace and equanimity? Some may be able to do so but they are the exception and not the rule. Shock and fear, and even denial are common responses along side with anger and even shame.
One of my clients recently stated “I feel so angry – not with anyone in particular, just with the situation and what it means for me and my loved ones. I keep thinking, why me?”
Facing or acknowledging what we fear lays ahead is essential. It shortens the wait-and-recovery time between delivery of the bad news and setting forth on the path toward healing. The shorter this period of time the better it is. The danger we want to avoid here is the common mind-traps of hopelessness and helplessness.
Respect Your Feelings
One way to avoid these traps is to learn to respect these feelings. Unpleasant as they may be, they are valuable and necessary, and here is why: think of your external senses, touch, smell, sight, hearing and taste, one is not more important than the other or better than the other; they all have their use and play part in the way we make sense of the world. So, too, are our emotions, pleasant or unpleasant, debilitating or exciting, our emotions can be seen as the inner senses of our mind that provide us with the report of how we are doing inside.
Tuning in or listening to your emotions, giving yourself time to process what you learn and summoning the courage to proceed is the first step toward a transformative journey, a journey back to health. This is what Immersive Healing and Hypnosis for Cancer allow you to do. No one can guarantee healing. No one can guarantee cure. These are desired destinations we fight for, we shoot for the stars but we must remember that until we get there it is the journey that counts.
It may help to study what Rumi has said, “And don’t think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter. It’s quiet, but the roots are down there riotous.” ~Rumi
I would like to hear from you about your defining moment and how you coped?
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About Avinoam Lerner
Avinoam Lerner is a Trauma Recovery Coach specializing in Cancer, Addiction & PTSD, TEDx Speaker and the author of The New Cancer Paradigm.
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Breakthrough the limitations trauma forced on your life, whether it's in the form of illness, addiction, PTSD etc. Discover if this goal oriented wellness program is for you.